Wake-up Call

Dear Flash,

A good chef appreciates a compliment at the end of a fabulous meal, that is true.  And the fact that you made such an effort is a testament to your fine breeding.  In the interest of full disclosure, I feel I should come clean and confess that I neither made your dog food nor did I serve it to you this morning.  In the future, it will not be necessary for you to come all the way into the bedroom at 4:30 AM to wake me up so that you can belch audibly in my face after Jay has fed you.

Love,  Nina

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Catnip

Dear Flash,

Please be aware that every time I find you pushing the cat around on the floor with your nose, or trying to fit the cat into your mouth, I will rub catnip on your rump again.  Let the games begin!

Love, Nina

Squirrel!

Dear Flash,

We all think we have super powers which can be used to thwart our current nemesis.  The squirrel’s is to cling to the side of the tree before seeming to disappear into thin air.  Yours is to tug at the leash with such might that you dislocate your owner’s shoulder.  I might remind you, though, that said shoulder belongs to the arm that feeds you, so you might want to concentrate on saving your powers to use only for  the greater good.

Love, Nina

Opportunity Knocks

Dear Flash,

Where are my manners? I am so forgetful these days! For instance, if you were not here to constantly remind me, I would likely spend an occasional evening lounging on the couch in front of the TV and completely forget about the opportunity to play ball in the house. It’s a good thing you’re around to keep me on track.

Love, Nina

A Rock and a Hard Spot

Dear Flash,

I can almost see the wheels in your brain spinning and smell the smoke from the speed with which you are pondering your situation and potential solutions.  But until you sprout opposable thumbs, you will not be able to dislodge the brick I placed in the hole you were digging under the fence, and thus will be contained inside the yard.  On the bright side, the neighbors each gave me 50 bucks to trap you on THIS side of the fence.

Love, Nina

AKA Bacon

Dear Flash,

Apparently I’ve been doing it wrong all along.  As your owner, I thought that the name I selected for you as a puppy was the one to which you would come if you were called.  Instead, I have come to discover that calling your name causes you to run in the opposite direction at a rapid pace.  It is with utter fascination I have discovered, however, that if I whisper the word “bacon” from a block away you will scurry to my side at the speed of light.  Sheesh!

Love, Nina

Windows 7

Dear Flash,

Hurricanes do, in fact, cause damage to windows in their path.  And you seem to have many characteristics of a small hurricane at times.  But in fact, this similarity is more of a state of mind than reality, and the windows on our house are fairly solid.  I suspect that no matter how many times you smash your face against the back door, or throw your ball against it, it will remain intact.

Love, Nina