Apparently I’ve been doing it wrong all along. As your owner, I thought that the name I selected for you as a puppy was the one to which you would come if you were called. Instead, I have come to discover that calling your name causes you to run in the opposite direction at a rapid pace. It is with utter fascination I have discovered, however, that if I whisper the word “bacon” from a block away you will scurry to my side at the speed of light. Sheesh!