Hostess with the Mostest


Dear Flash,

Years ago, before you were a part of our lives, we were known as gracious hosts and frequently entertained all sorts of guests. And while gracious is in the eye of the beholder, the definition usually excludes such behavior as sneaking lipstick out of purses, chewing on someone’s shoes under the table (while they are wearing them!), stealing a baby’s bottle, or poking your nose in a guest’s rump. Please refrain from these behaviors in the future, as some of these people will be responsible for picking out my nursing home when I’m older.

Love, Nina

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