Pampered

Dear Flash,

One of my favorite things to do when I want to feel pampered is to go to the salon and have my hair done.  The way they massage my head as they wash my hair, the sweet smell of the products they use, the way they style my hair just so, so that I am prettier than at any other time gets me so excited I practically float as I’m leaving the shop.  Why, then, do you complain so every time I leave you at the groomer’s for a day?

Love, Nina

PS.  You look very handsome.  And you smell better.  Particularly after the cow pie incident.

Before. All butt feathers and cow pies

After. Deceptively innocent looking. Still the same Flash though.

As is customary, will not strike a pose for long before sneaking off.

Inebriation. Doggie Style.

*WARNING  – PG ALERT*

Dear Flash,

How wonderful that you are getting excited about all the festivities in preparation for Hope’s wedding.  I know you have heard us talking a lot about “showers”.  Shanyn in particular has been quite enthusiastic about taking Hope out for her bachelorette party and getting her “shit-faced.”  Unfortunately for you, if you choose to get “shit-faced” by rolling in a cow pie, the only “shower” you will get is in the bathtub.

Love, Nina

King of All You Survey

Dear Flash,

Yessir, it sure is a big, bad world out there.  From your vantage point at the front door, you can see the sidewalk, the boxwoods, and the yard light.  Well, in theory you could see those things, except for the nosy prints that cover the bottom 6 inches of the window.  At any rate, that’s a lot of pressure, policing all of those things.  You’d better go lay down before you hurt yourself.

Love, Nina

Taste Test

Dear Flash,

They tell me there is a product I can buy to put on the cat food that makes the cat poop taste bad so you will stop eating it.  I refuse to buy that product for a number of reasons.  First, it is poop.  By defintion it should taste bad.  Second, who tasted the poop before the product to decide it tasted good, then tasted it again after the product to determine it now tasted bad?  Third, if there is a product that will make poop taste worse, who would want to eat the food it was placed on?  I’m just sayin’.

Love, Nina

Cleanliness is Next to Dogliness

Dear Flash,

Close but no banana.  True, the river is wet.  But although it looks clean, it carries a multitude of dirt and sand.  Not to mention fish, ducks, and related waste products.  And there is definitely no soap there.  Consider yourself informed that wading into the river up to your knees does not count as a bath.

Love, NinaImage

Go Broncos

Dear Flash,

You’re a little early, buddy.  Even though Boise State fans never tire of rooting for the Broncos, football season doesn’t start for another month.

Love, Nina