O mighty Flash it seems to me
You are the King of Irony.
The bathtub makes you flee with fright;
The river fills you with delight.
Your own poop makes you stay away,
But in the litter box you’ll play.
“Bacon” brings you to my side,
When I say “come” you won’t abide.
I spend a fortune on your food;
You think your butt tastes just as good.
You clean yourself with all your heart,
Then eat your food and belch and fart.
You bat your eyes and beg for pats,
Then you leave to bite the cats.
You strike a pose so clearly regal,
Then lay upon your bed spread-eagle.
We have the papers, you were bred,
To trample through my flower beds?
You chew my stuff, you steal my loot,
A bad boy in a fancy suit.
Though I’ve tried and tried to train,
You possess a Corgi brain.
There is no cure, there is no hope,
We try each day our best to cope.
But when you love, you bring us joy.
You are such a mama’s boy!