The Games People Play

Dear Flash,

I noticed you tried to join in when I was putting my craft supplies away and the cat started chasing the tape measure.  Now you know how I feel about pinochle.  It looks fun, and the people playing it always seem to be having a good time.  But when I sit in, I find that I don’t really understand the appeal at all.

Love, Nina

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Lucky Dog

Dear Flash,

Almost 400 years ago, a group of disenfranchised people paused on a beautiful fall day to reflect on their gratitude for the simple things: plentiful rainfall, a good harvest, and the generosity of welcoming hosts in a foreign land.  They were Pilgrims in the truest sense, and their celebration became a moment preserved for the ages.  Over time, the legend of their trials has become larger than life.  But at its very core, this holiday still finds its roots in the glory that comes from putting aside differences in favor of searching for what binds us together and makes us stronger as a whole.  I am thankful today for a loving family, loyal friends, a reason to smile.  And I am thankful, my friend, for you.

Love, Nina

Out of Your League

Dear Flash,

I have it on good authority that poodles are an intelligent, athletic, noble breed who have been the national dog of France for centuries. You, sir, are a corgi – a short, fat, heavy-boned bunny-butted sheep herder. As fine as a she-poodle might seem to you, the fabric one on my skirt is about as close as you are likely to get.

Love, Nina

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Told Ya So!

Dear Flash,

You thought you were all that and a bag of chips, didn’t you?  Sneaking away from Jay and me as we were walking by the river, scurrying under the barbed wire fence and rolling in something smelly.  It seems as though I have been warning you forever that no good would come of this addiction.  Unfortunately for you, that was catnip you were rolling in, buddy.  And since you have such an aversion to baths, I will be unable to wash the smell off your rump.  Therefore, for the foreseeable future, you will be at the mercy of the alpha male of the house.

Love, Nina

Camouflage

Dear Flash,

My human ancestors were indeed great hunters.  In order to survive, they had to learn how to disguise themselves from their prey, vanishing into the background to become completely undetectable.  Just so you know, you were nicely visually camouflaged today amongst the fallen leaves when you were trying to capture the squirrel.  But stealthy you are not when it comes to the amount of noise you make, and I could hear you from 50 yards away.  Lucky for you your survival is dependent only on food that comes from a bag.

Love, Nina

 

My Bark is Worse than my Bite

Top Ten Things I Have Barked At

10. The vacuum cleaner

9.  The dogs on TV (They sound so REAL!)

8.  The wind

7.  Candles

6.  A slinky

5.  The broom

4.  The car wash (Not a good idea to take me in there!)

3.  Windshield wipers (What is up with those things?)

2.  My food dish.  I tipped it over when I was a puppy and it was as if the world came to an end!

1.  Animated holiday decorations (There is something creepy about an angel pulling a sled while blowing a trumpet, all covered in blinking multi-colored LED lights.  It’s just not right.)