I have been a very good boy this year. Relatively. From a certain point of view. Please fill my stocking with any of these things, which I have already tested by rolling in them previously:
10. A dead snake. I found my first one in Challis, Idaho, when I was only 8 weeks old.
9. Deer droppings. Scared them right out of that silly deer. Also in Challis.
8. Catnip. The cats were doing it, so why not?
7. Fish guts. Right behind the backyard by the pond in the park. Mom made such a big deal over it. Sheesh!
6. Lipstick. That one I had to steal out of a girl’s purse while her boyfriend petted me at the skateboard park.
5. Raspberries. (Hahaha. Mom panicked, thought I was bleeding.)
4. Chewing gum. That one made the “chewed on it” list too.
3. Dirty laundry. I’d do it again, if they’d let me near it.
2. The cat. I would get by with it, too, if the cat didn’t squeal like a sissy.
1. (Drum roll, please) The freshly fertilized flower bed. You can call it eco-friendly if you want, but steer manure still smells like, well, manure.
PS: I left milk and cookies out for you. But then I ate them. What can I say? I’m a corgi, after all.