I know, I know. I haven’t written for a while. But, my friend, your behavior…
For the record: Jay is first and foremost a human, and secondly he is my husband. Therefore, when he chooses to engage in certain hobbies, there are few restrictions aside from money and legality. Take, for example, his collection of scale model fire engines and related paraphernalia. He does so of free will and with my complete support (so long as said collection is stored neatly in Jay’s office and dusted regularly). But you, my friend, are a canine and as such have certain limitations placed upon you.
Please be aware that the presence of a fire hydrant as part of said collection and displayed in said office is by no means an invitation to you to use it as indoor plumbing.
You, sir, have been placed on notice.