(or, How I Came to Call Jay at Dialysis for Bail Money)
Gawd A-mighty, boy. I can’t take you anywhere.
Sure, the walk started out fine. But I should have known the minute we were approached by the game warden no good would come of it. Oh sure, at first you seemed friendly enough. You lured the officer in with your little corgi grin, and let him scratch your back. I was a little embarrassed that you shed on him like you did (note to self: make an appointment at the groomer’s). But I had no idea what was coming next. My friend, everybody on God’s Green Earth except for you knows that you don’t, under any circumstances, pee on a law enforcement officer.
Have fun in jail.
PS. Sorry, Occifer. I was so mortified I cut your head off with my finger when I took the photo.