The Matrix Doggie Style


Dear Flash,

I am the first to admit I enjoy a good movie. And you know as well as anyone that my guilty little pleasure is a great action flick chock full of special effects. I remember sitting in amazement the first time I saw The Matrix (and not just because Keanu Reeves was smokin’ hot!). It took my brain a few minutes to catch up with what my eyes were beholding. I was left reeling with wonderment over what computerized trickery was necessary to accomplish such feats.

I experienced a similar sensation tonight in my own living room. I watched you try to sit, speak, lay down, shake, and roll over, all at once. It was as if time stood still as you contorted your little body into positions I am quite certain are considered unnatural for a dog of your stature. It was a little like watching a clown car slam into a tree made of jello: I hoped nobody got hurt because I was laughing so hard I peed my pants a little.

For the record, I have two critiques of tonight’s performance. First, no apple is worth that kind of effort. And second, trying to turn your head upside down while in a sitting position does not constitute “rolling over”.

Love, Nina

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